In whom or what do you find your value, your worth? Is it in being the best grandpa ever? The best mom ever? In being the one with the highest qualifications on the team? Is it in the money you earn and what you accomplish with it? The car you drive? Do you find your value in your work? Your volunteer work? Think about that for a moment. 

Being the middle of three girls on a beef farm I adopted the role of dad’s right hand “man” at a very early age. I loved working with him. He taught me much about cattle, driving tractors, what a clevis is, and baling hay – in the days before anyone had thought of making large bales and handling them with a tractor. We baled hay in the days when each bale was handled by hand. Dad and I usually worked in the mow together, sweating under the peak of the tin roof on a hot, humid afternoon. But one day, I ended up in the mow with my grandfather. That was not usually grandpa’s job – but that day, for whatever reason, it was. Grandpa’s job was to stand at the elevator and toss one bale my way, then a bale the other way to a boy who happened to show up, with his father, to help. 

At first everything was just fine. I got a bale. He got a bale. Everything was just as it was to be. That is until that boy decided that since we were close to the peak he was going to build his side way up into the rafters. He took on his task with great determination. The only problem was, if he was going to succeed he needed supplies. And his demand for those supplies was made known to Grandpa. Grandpa began tossing him two for every one he tossed my way. Then three. It got so bad, in the midst of this boy’s enthusiasm, that finally I decided to sit down between bales coming my way, watching as his little plain turned into a mountain, an empire, one he was very proud of. 

I was a little annoyed at this boy, and I was disappointed. Grandpa and I had never worked in the mow together and I wanted to show him that I was as hard a worker as any boy. I might have been proud, but I certainly wasn’t cruel, so I never said a word. But Grandpa did. 

That night at the dinner table, (well actually, it was the supper table at our house), with all the men hungrily devouring mom’s great hot meal, Grandpa announced what a hard worker this new kid was. Grandpa told everyone gathered around that table that that kid handled four bales to every one of mine and even then I had to sit down to take a rest between them! I was mortified. His recounter was not how I had experienced that story. 

And what did that tell me? My identity, as a girl in a man’s world, was not enough. I needed to be more, do more, if I was going to be valued, respected, encouraged, as this boy was, by my own grandfather none the less! My identity was compared to another’s and I fell short.

And it always will. There will always be someone stronger than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, thinner than me, more courageous than me, more creative than me, a better speaker than me, a better wife than me, a better mom than me, a better baseball player than me. (Ok, so I threw that one in there just to prove that there are some things that everyone is better at than me!) You get the picture. What’s on your list? In what ways do you feel you don’t measure up? Who’s doing the measuring? Will you ever measure up? Will it ever be enough? By the world’s standards the answer is no, but we think if we just work a little harder, a little longer, if we strive to please people at all costs, if we have a little more power, a little more money … 

When we put our identity in the ways of the world, in our jobs, in our status, in our wealth, it will never be enough, nor will it last. Consider what happens to the man whose identity was based in his work and he retires? What happens to a mom when the kids are all off to school, or leave for university? If her identity, her value, has been placed in her family and they leave the nest – that identity, that sense of purpose, is lost. When we place our identity in the things that can spoil, be taken away, or not last – the things of the world – we set ourselves up for disappointment, depression, a sense of failure. Like the young woman who didn’t go to her own convocation ceremony because she didn’t want to stand among the other grads who would be proudly announcing where they had been hired, and she hadn’t been … yet. 

That’s where the Good News of Jesus Christ comes in. God’s Word in 1 John 3:1 calls us to “Look with wonder at the depth of the Father’s marvelous love that he has lavished on us! He has called us and made us his very own beloved children.” (The Passion Translation). 

Beloved children! … Imagine for a moment if you placed everything about who you are, in Christ. In the One who says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV). In the One who says, “You didn’t choose me, but I’ve chosen and commissioned you to go into the world to bear fruit. And your fruit will last, because whatever you ask of my Father, for my sake, he will give it to you!” (John 15:16, TPT). The One in whom there is no condemnation (Romans 8;1). The One in whom we have eternal life if we place our trust in Him (John 3:36). 

In Christ you don’t have to measure up. You are His Child. He is your Father. There is nothing you can do to separate yourself from his love (Romans 8:38). Consider the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31). In his book, Identity Matters, author Dr. Terry Wardle asks, “Was the son the Father’s when he lived at home?” Of course. “Was the son the Father’s when the son took His inheritance and left?” Of course. “Was the son still the Father’s when the son squandered his wealth? when he sat in the pig field? when he headed home? when he returned home?” There was never a time the son wasn’t the Father’s. The son’s identity wasn’t based on where he was or what he did. His identity was secure in His Father, despite his circumstances, his choices, even his foolishness. 

Like that son, you and I can find our love, our self worth, our confidence, our purpose, our security, our understanding, our significance in Christ, where we will always be enough. 

Take Nehemiah. Sanballat and his cronies mocked, jeered, and belittled Nehemiah and his work crew as they worked on rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. Like childish children, they taunted Nehemiah that even a fox climbing on the wall would break it down (Nehemiah 4:1-4). Nehemiah could have been discouraged and folded up shop, but instead Nehemiah went to God in prayer (Nehemiah 4:4). He then encouraged his workers with these words: “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” In effect Nehemiah was saying, “Remember who you are – remember whose you are.” His identity was in His God and nothing Sanballat could say could take that away from Nehemiah. Nehemiah’s identity was secure.

In contrast — Samuel anoints and calls Saul, at God’s request, to do a job but Saul does not obey. Samuel points out that at one time Saul considered himself unimportant, but the Lord anointed him a king! When asked why he didn’t follow God’s request, Saul first argues that he did, (but it was obvious he hadn’t). Then the truth comes out. Saul admits that it was because I was afraid of the people. I obeyed them (1 Samuel 15). 

When we don’t stand firm in our identity in God, in Christ, we become people pleasers, performers, power mongrels, status seekers, earthly kingdom builders, in order that we might impress and influence others, show ourselves worthy. And it’s never enough. 

When we rest securely in Christ, there is room to say I messed up because God will forgive, will encourage, will walk us through those tough times. When we are rooted firmly in God’s foundation we don’t let others define us or assign our worth. We know we are God’s Child, an heir to all that is His. 

God’s Word in 1 John 4:15,16 says, “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” You are His beloved Child. You need look no further for love and acceptance. Rest secure in the fact that nothing can separate you from His love. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Don’t let circumstances or the attitudes of others take from you the Truth of who you are in Christ. 

So I ask again, in whom or what do you find your value, find your worth? Only being rooted firmly in Christ, claiming your identity as His Child, will you find security, confidence, unconditional love, self worth, confidence, purpose, security, and understanding. And these things can never be taken from you, even, and especially, in death.